ODE TO MOTHERING A TODDLER

When life gives you a whiny toddler, put on an episode of Girls and reach for that pint of Häagen-Dazs cookie dough ice cream. For one woman’s muffin top is another woman’s washboard abs.

Try not to be fooled by fellow mommy Pinterest accounts, all toddlers are gremlins that tantrum when they can’t eat marshmallows and popcorn for breakfast.

Sometimes these gremlins make it to the toilet and sometimes they end up peeing on your brand new $99 Rona rug. Don’t buy expensive rugs.

When little Sophie wakes up with a chip on her shoulder and it takes you twice as much effort to get out of the house, it’s ok to drop her off at daycare in yoga pants then proceed to not go to yoga.

When the option is either missing the party or attending in PJs, opt for the latter, it will save you a world of grief.

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